Sunday, February 1, 2009

how to avoid loneliness?

The pain of loneliness is real and can be especially acute for single people who have recently suffered a divorce or bereavement.

For some people , becoming single again may have come as a shock to them and they are left with overwhelming emotions that they struggle to cope with. It is hard to accept that you do not have that special someone around in their life anymore and it may take some time and adjustment to get used to the fact.

Loneliness affect people in different ways. A lot of people find it hard to cope in the evenings after they have put the children to bed or they may feel lonely when they are doing certain tasks unsupported. It may be that you get triggers' at the weekends or when visiting extended family. Even though you could be surrounded by other people it is still possible to have feelings of isolation and loneliness.

Grief for a lost marriage or spouse, child or anything really who or which cannot ever be replaced takes time. You have to rationalize and accept the truth. There is nothing that you can do about the situation. You have had a loss and you must accept it. In the beginning although you feel lonely, the feelings of emptiness and lack of control over the situation may also bring anger. All this is a normal part of the healing process so it is not surprising that you may not feel strong enough to face social intercourse, preferring to mourn your loss in a personal way. Unfortunately this exacerbates the condition of isolation and you may find it hard to appreciate that there is another life waiting for you.

In the beginning one of the hardest things to do is to stay motivated. It may be that you manage to cope with looking after the children and to ensure that they are happy and fulfilled and helping them come to terms with a life without a father, but fail to see to your own needs and feelings.

That is where friends come into their own. A friend will care about you. They will be anxious to help out and to ease your pain, but often do not like to intrude upon your privacy especially when it is clear you are suffering.

You can begin to ease loneliness by accepting offers of help. Start taking the children out together with friends and invite people round for a meal in the evening. Pinpoint the times that you feel the most lonely and make plans to fill these times by starting a new hobby or joining a cookery class or helping out at your child's school.

Prepare to make changes your life. Be accepting. Your life will never be the same again and it is pointless hanging on to old emotions and thoughts. Keep a box with all your favorite photo's , letters and other mementos to remind you of the happy times you shared in the past but accept that what you had is now in the past. Cherish your children and appreciate the legacy of love that they carry in them from your loved one. Ask yourself whether your ex- partner is worried about you. He has probably moved on and got remarried and if you have lost a partner through death ask yourself would he be upset if he saw you not looking after yourself properly?

Think positive thoughts. They will help to heal you. Reassure yourself that none of this is your fault. Life is life and sometimes thing happen that we have no control over.

Help others who are needy. Recognize the loneliness in yourself and help ease this pain in others. Elderly people are particularly vulnerable and would appreciate a visit from you.

Monday, October 13, 2008

Why So Many Lonely People?

IN TODAY'S society, many experience loneliness. It affects people of all ages and of all races, social strata, and creeds. Have you ever been lonely? Are you lonely now? Actually, all of us at one time or another have felt the need for companionship—for someone to lend us an ear, to offer us reassurance or possibly to echo our deep feelings or inner thoughts, and to understand us as a person. We have a need for someone who is sensitive to our emotions.

Lonely poeple

There are so many lonely people in the whole world, Why it is lonely?
It depends of his or her attitude, likes, peer preasure, or even in his or her surroundings.

How can we prevent being lonely? in what are the ways we could enhance the emotional state for being happy?